Chester : Hurry, activate it, dude! Chester : I think that's it, dude. Jesse : Thank you, Captain Obvious. Chester : Morphing is cool! Chester : Those double-crossing, sexy-sexy sluts! Jesse : You know what we should do? Chester : Eat? Jesse : No. Jesse : Eat! Chester : [to Jesse] It's Mrs. Maybe she'll give us a ride. Chester : Mrs. Crabbleman : [see's Chester]. Crabbleman : [purposefully swerves to hit Chester with her car] Fuckin' stoners. Chester : Look, a unicorn!
Pizzacoli looks]. Pizzacoli : A unicorn? Chester : Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse. Jesse : Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it? Chester : [opens cupboard] I'd say it's entirely possible. Jesse : What's up? Chester : Animal Planet! Jesse : Man, I just had the craziest dream.
Chester : About what? Jesse : I don't remember. Chester : The full grown male african ostrich or the latin "struthio camelus" can go to an average size of sixty six inches Jesse : Wait a second.
I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Chester : Maybe you should go sit on the toilet. You know what the feeling is? It's love! Chester : Is that what that is? Jesse : Yeah, I'm in love with Wanda and you're in love with Wilma. Chester : Yeah! Jesse : You see. Now that we know that we've been sucky boyfriends Chester : We can?
Jesse : Yeah! And you know what else? I'll bet you that we did buy them super cool anniversary gifts. You know why? Coz we love them. Chester : And we wrapped them really cool wrapping paper? Jesse : Yeah. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna go down the impound lot and get the car Jesse Let's do it! Jesse : Oh, no, hold on. I gotta take a crap. Chester : Told you. Jesse : I know. Chester : I know your body.
Chester : So is this, dude. It's a break-dancing stripper emergency! Chester : [the two have just had trash cans put over their heads] Dude, you just touched Christie Boner's hoo-hoo. Jesse : Shibby! Chester : [Reaches out from under the trash can] Low five. Chester : How wasted were we last night? Jesse : Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.
Jesse : Dude, where's my car? Chester : Where's your car, dude? Jesse : Dude, it's a llama! Jesse : Who's Johnny Potsmoker? Chester : Oh ,that's my alter ego. Chester : No. Yours is Smokey McPot. Jesse : Oh yeah. Chester : A barn? Jesse : Is it red? Jesse : Then it's not a barn! Tania : I'm a gender-challenged male. Jesse : What does that mean? Jesse : Whoa! Dude, you're a dude! Pizzacoli : [knocks on the door] Open up, you 2 slackers! Jesse and Chester : [quietly] Mr.
Pizzacoli : You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers! Jesse and Chester : [notice the undelivered pizzas around the house] Uh-oh. Chester : It's open! Jesse : OHHH! Jesse : Jesse Chester Jesse : Please your shibby at the beep. Chester : Well, you didn't have to go all aggro on that speaker box, dude. Jesse : I'm not the one who called the Dalai Lama a fag! Jesse : I do not want to go down in history as the guy who destroyed the universe.
Alien Nordic Dude : But the universe? Jesse : [mocking the Nordic dude's accent] "Screw the Universe! Alien Nordic Dudes : Screw the universe? Zoltan : You gotta activate the Jesse : What? Chester : Hurry, activate it, dude! Chester : I think that's it, dude. Jesse : Thank you, Captain Obvious. Jesse : Stupid llamas! Jesse : I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games!
Jesse : Hang in there, Dude. Tortured Mannequin : [hangs in there]. Jesse : You know what we should do? Chester : Eat? Jesse : No. Jesse : Eat! Jumpsuit Chick 1 : First you give us the Continuum Transfunctioner, then we give you oral pleasure. Jesse : I've heard that one before Jesse : Look, it's an elephant! Pizzacoli : [turning around] What?
Jesse : It was just a mailman. Jesse : Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it? Chester : [opens cupboard] I'd say it's entirely possible. Jesse : What's up? Chester : Animal Planet! Jesse : Man, I just had the craziest dream. Chester : About what? Jesse : I don't remember.
Jesse : Wait a second. I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Chester : Maybe you should go sit on the toilet. You know what the feeling is? It's love! Chester : Is that what that is? Jesse : Yeah, I'm in love with Wanda and you're in love with Wilma.
Chester : Yeah! Jesse : You see. Now that we know that we've been sucky boyfriends Chester : We can? Jesse : Yeah! And you know what else? I'll bet you that we did buy them super cool anniversary gifts. You know why? Coz we love them. Chester : And we wrapped them really cool wrapping paper?
Jesse : Yeah. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna go down the impound lot and get the car Jesse
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